Yesterday evening I received an email from my friend K; he's the one who was seriously ill last year. He asked me if I would be uncomfortable attending a pool party at his place if S was there. (If you're new here or have blocked the memory from your mind, S is my ex. Not to rehash the past but you can check out my past posts Love Not Love [there are three parts].) K mentioned the other guys he's invited, all friends and acquaintances. It's as hot as hell and spending part of a day in a pool with friends sounds wonderful; however, I am not ready to be in S's presence. I doubt I ever will be. And so in declining I'll be disappointing K and that makes me feel guilty and childish and stubborn. But I just cannot do it.
The only thing, right now, that is making me feel better is gazing upon today's furry muscle god. I'm certain you all agree that this is a most excellent balm.