It's been quite a week...for starters my cold is still hanging on. Just when I think I'm getting better, the congestion comes back. It doesn't help that we here in the LA area are now experiencing a normal summer complete with heat and humidity. My other physical problem is my tendonitis; I think I mentioned in an earlier post that it has flared up again and isn't getting better. In the evenings I put an ice pack on it and before bed use either lidocaine patches or the new Salon Pas strips (which smell like Ben-Gay). There's been some relief but the pain is still present. My train buddies are starting to hound me about seeing the doctor. I think they're tired of me limping down the stairs and grimacing! My fear is that my doctor will want to do an MRI and I'll end up having surgery. Not something I feel I'm up to facing, if that is indeed the diagnosis.Yesterday evening I received an email from my friend K; he's the one who was seriously ill last year. He asked me if I would be uncomfortable attending a pool party at his place if S was there. (If you're new here or have blocked the memory from your mind, S is my ex. Not to rehash the past but you can check out my past posts Love Not Love [there are three parts].) K mentioned the other guys he's invited, all friends and acquaintances. It's as hot as hell and spending part of a day in a pool with friends sounds wonderful; however, I am not ready to be in S's presence. I doubt I ever will be. And so in declining I'll be disappointing K and that makes me feel guilty and childish and stubborn. But I just cannot do it.
The only thing, right now, that is making me feel better is gazing upon today's furry muscle god. I'm certain you all agree that this is a most excellent balm.
BEHR HUGS!
6 comments:
Just want to let you know you're not alone in feeling that way (unready to be in his presence).
Mark, I think it is ok if you don't want to see him. It is best not to be around people who can be destructive to you. Is it possible you could talk to your friends and go a little early, maybe even before the party officially starts, and spend time with some of your friends, before S gets there? Not trying to pressure you, but I hate that you want to be around your friends and attend this party, S is the only thing keeping you from being there.
"My fear is that my doctor will want to do an MRI and I'll end up having surgery." Just do like I do and never go to the doctor. Then you won't have to worry about surgery.
As for S... decline! Decline! DECLINE!!!
You should see a doctor - if it does not feel better now, it won't for some time!
I won't go to places I don't feel comfortable at either (to a fault really). Hope you feel better. Limping around these days is standard procedure for me anymore.
The more doctors I see the more pills I have to take (not the fun ones either!)
I love the furry muscle god too! Have a great weekend.
I hope you get to feeling better and one day, you will be able to strut in front of your ex as if it was nothing
Post a Comment