28 November 2013

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is the American Thanksgiving holiday. An official holiday since 1863, it hearkens back to the early American Colonists of 1621 who often held days of "thanksgiving" - days of feasting and prayer  - generally after an event such as surviving drought or a military victory. It's a day set aside to count blessings and - for the religiously minded - give thanks to God. 

Ask anyone about their list of what they are thankful for and you'll get common responses: family, friends, job, home. My list includes those as well plus other responses. I want to share one.

I'm thankful for heartache. It means I still have the capacity to love, to care, to believe that each 'next time' I behave differently and approach the relationship in a different manner. If there is no long lasting 'next time' then my heartache is a reminder that - for what it is worth - I truly loved someone. As it is sung in "Les Miserables" - To love another person is to see the face of God.

There are, of course, other things for which I am thankful. But for this year, this will suffice.

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.


PS: This is my 1,000th post!

11 November 2013

Dear Anonymous

I recently received your comment which I published on my previous post:

My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post's to be just what I'm looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs? I wouldn't mind producing a post or elaborating on a number of the subjects you write in relation to here. Again, awesome website!

First, thank you for the kind words. Usually when I get an "anonymous" comment it's threatening me with legal action for posting pictures of hot guys. It was nice to receive a positive message. It always surprises me when told that someone gets something out of Behr Blather. I realize that my posts are far and few between. It does seem to me though that my posts of late have been a little bit more substantive. A far cry from the early days of this blog.

As for offering guest writers...I'm afraid that's not something I want to do. This blog is really for me...that others follow it, comment, and appreciate it is icing on the cake, so-to-speak. And although I'm sure you and others have insight and words of wisdom for me and my followers....Behr Blather is about the Behr. I hope you understand. 

Thank you again for your kind words. I hope you'll continue to read Behr Blather and feel free to leave comments.


03 November 2013

Another Loss

I first met Steve and his partner Mikey at Gay Days 2004. Steve was this tall, big, gregarious ginger bear, Mikey a furry dark-haired pocket bear. Steve was talkative, Mikey a bit shyer, but both very attractive and fun men. I consider them acquaintances because I only saw them once a year, at Gay Days. For the past couple of years I've been Facebook friends with Steve. 

From the first moment I met them - introduced to me by my ex - I could tell these men were in love. I didn't realize how much that was true until one year - and I honestly do not remember in what year - Steve and Mikey didn't show up for Gay Days. Rumor was that Steve was ill. As with all gay men, we all automatically thought the worst. But it wasn't...it was skin cancer. 

Steve lost an incredible amount of weight, becoming half the man he was. He had so many skin grafts on his face that he no longer looked like himself and it affected his speech. Steve underwent several operations over the years and always kept his sense of humor and sharp wit. The amazing and admirable part of the story is that Mikey never left Steve's side throughout the entire ordeal. And you could see the love between them. 

I called them the Poster Boys of Love.

About a week or so again, there was a post for prayers and good thoughts for Steve and Mike. Steve was in the hospital. As the days went by we got posts about friends visiting, that Steve was moved to ICU, that his mother and sister had arrived.

Steve passed away this past Thursday, Mikey by his side, his mother and sister present. Mike and Steve were together for 18 years. 

I'm going to miss Steve. Sure, we weren't friend friends but I always looked forward to seeing him and talking to him. His strength and spirit are a lesson to us all to persevere. Mikey's love is a lesson to us all to look to the spirit and character of those we love when the physical body fails. And for those of us who knew Steve - he will always be with us in spirit.