...there's nothing worse than being single at Christmas.
...coworkers who say hello to you several times throughout the day are starved for attention (not to mention annoying).
...someone should actually invent one of those machines that provides the item when you think it, whether it's a hamburger with onions and pickles or the smiling stranger from the subway train naked in your bed.
...I can do a better job at recycling.
...pets are extraordinary. They bring such spirit and warmth to your living space; they truly make a house a home.
...the state of the world will get worse before it gets better.
...I'm becoming more pessimistic, cynical, and sarcastic in my old age.
...*FUCK* is one of the greatest words.
...naps are underrated and should be mandatory during the work day.
...the world would be better off if everyone just *lived and let live.*
...bacon is probably God's most perfect foods. It goes with everything.
...everyone is a little bit gay. Some of us are just a little bit more gay.