24 March 2010

The Things We Do

This morning I've been thinking about the things we do that aren't required of us but that we do anyway.

For example, I'm taking today off as a vacation day to attend the funeral of my friend's daughter. She passed away unexpectedly. I know her mother - my friend - from the theater group. She's a sweet lady who would give you the shirt off her back. I first met her quite a few years ago but it was maybe 5 or 6 years ago that I got to know her well. I didn't know her daughter; perhaps I met her at one time but I couldn't point to her and say "That's M's daughter." I'm going today to support M and her husband in their time of grief. It's not how I'd like to spend a vacation day but I feel compelled to go. I hope that doesn't sound egotistical because that's not how I mean it to sound. I guess I'm just taking about those little sacrifices we make for friends.

Last night I went to a singer's showcase that another friend leads every other week at a wine bar. I have nice memories of the wine bar and spending time with him so it was a little different last night because he was busy singing and setting up songs for others to sing. A lot of his family showed up and, of course, he couldn't be as affectionate as he usually is when we're alone. I understand about not being all in one's family's face about being gay - especially when they don't approve - but his cool avoidance of me was disconcerting for me. I only stayed for a couple of glasses of wine, perhaps a little over an hour. When I went to leave, my friend shook my hand. WTF? As I started to walk away I leaned into him and he said, rather sharply, "Don't!" Well I was going to just say something not kiss him or anything. It pissed me off a little that he thought I wouldn't act appropriately in front of his family. So I made a kissing sound near his ear and he laughed. I guess I was feeling disassociated. I keep wondering why he couldn't introduce me to his family. Just a "this is my friend" introduction. Oh well. I suppose we all deal with situations that best suit our comfort level.

Work has been busy lately and I know my boss wasn't exactly happy I was taking today off. He seemed ok once I told him it was for a funeral. He's been giving me new projects and he gets a little "hurry up" with them although the deadline isn't for a couple months. I'll be taking another trip to SF next month for work. It hasn't been finalized and I'm starting to panic about booking my flight and hotel and arranging the logistics. It usually all comes together. Plus I get to connect with friends while I'm there.

That's about all I have on the brain right now. Happy Hump Day and as always - BEHR HUGS!!


David Dust said...

That's a shame that your friend was so uptight around his family. You shouldn't have to censor yourself because of someone else's baggage.

BTW - that guy in the picture is delicious!!

Happy Hump Day to you too!!


Wonder Man said...

That's a lot. Hopefully you can enjoy yourself in the midst of everything

Michael Rivers said...

Happy Hump Day to you too. Hang in there!

Stan said...

This shows what a great person you are for attneding this funeral to show your support for your friend. You need to pat yourself on the back.

Bear Me Out said...

Good man. I've yet to know how to bring parts of my striaght family (like my daughters!) into contact with my gay world. They've met some of my friends (a very few) and it's still disconcerting for them. Tough passage. I think I understand how YOU feel. But I don't want to try and hide. Not even from family. But I don't know how I'll react.