30 January 2010

Friday Night and Feeling Strange

Tonight I met my friend, K, at Disneyland. You may remember my brief post about him; he's the one who was extremely ill. He's doing a lot better although he's lost an incredible amount of weight. He looks older, to be expected, and moves slower but the offbeat sense of humor is still there. We both teared up several times as we caught each other up on what's been happening. It was very good to see him.

K is a friend of S from my Love, Not Love posts. In fact, K and S dated briefly before I met S. Because they are good friends, K talked about S a lot. Sometimes we make allowances for our friends and let them say whatever they want.

K did ask at one point if it bothered me that he was talking about S. I hesitated about 10 seconds too long before I said it was okay. He picked up on it. So we did talk about him, not rehashing the past necessarily but in general.

K said he knows for a fact that S would like to have a "friendly association" with me.

I told K about S not calling me when K was ill. I also told him that S never asked me what was wrong. K said that that's just who S is, that he holds his emotions inside. I told K that, to me, it meant I was not important on any level to S.

The strange thing is I've often thought about extending the proverbial olive branch. I was thinking this before posting Love, Not Love. But as I told K tonight...I'm not ready. I know I'm being childish and spiteful and stubborn. But hey! I'm a Taurus!

Fear not dear readers. I won't be contacting S any time soon. I think if he and I were to talk or connect again it wouldn't last. So why bother. He had his chances and he blew them both.

Tonight has left me feeling strange. I cannot explain the feeling but I'm just feeling....off. Hopefully a good night's sleep will rectify this.

Thanks for reading. BEHR HUGS!!


mistress maddie said...

Sounds like you made a very good decison to me! Glad you had a good time with your friend though.

Larry Ohio said...

I love how you go to Disneyland all the time. When I lived in the Tampa Bay area, my husband Greg and I and our fag hag Judy would go to Busch Gardens 2-3 times a month. We absolutely loved it there.

Howard said...

I think you are making good decisions, and just feeling the effects of life. Hope you slept it off and are ready to start a new day.

Mark in DE said...

I agree. I don't see the point in extending an olive branch. He does not possess the qualities of a friend that are important to you.

CJ/Rick said...

A good nights sleep often sheds new light. You're right you know.