Hey Blather fans....I know it's been a while since I have really shared anything other than "news" stories and pics of my fat ass with Captain America and Thor...so here's a quick update.
It's been a month since I got laid off and I haven't really started looking for a job despite pressure from family and a few friends. This week I'm starting to finally think about it seriously. It's not been easy though considering that everything feels repetitious. For example, last week I logged into the CalJobs site - which is a state government site that allows one to create a resume and search for jobs -statewide - and began creating the online profile. There were some free form sections that I wanted to think about before entering anything. So when I logged in this morning everything I'd already entered was gone and my "profile" didn't exist. Frustrating.
My former company pays for a third-party career management company for 30 days; I haven't called them and they've called twice and sent a letter. I was dragging my feet because - quite honestly - I'm kind of in the 'anger' stage of this experience. They want to help me "transition" to a new job. Well, goddamn it, I had a job. I know I shouldn't be angry with this third-party company but again it seems like a slap in the face. Anyway, I finally called and maybe it won't be so bad. They'll help critique my resume, which definitely needs help.
One of the other things I need to do soon is to find a new bank. If you don't remember, I worked for a bank and like an idiot have all of my eggs in their basket: checking, credit card, mortgage, IRA. So I want to open a new account somewhere else so in time I can start paying my bills out of that account and use the existing account for the auto debit of the mortgage payment. I may look to refinance at a lower rate but want to establish a good relationship with the new bank first.
Here's perhaps the most exciting piece of news: at the end of the week I'm having a colonoscopy! I'm so thrilled. NOT. Okay let's be honest...lately I've been bottoming for O, mainly because I don't want to lose him and he is always horny. But to have a camera stuck up my ass? Not my idea of how to spend a Friday afternoon. Deep down I'm afraid a problem will be found.
Other than....I haven't had much excitement. The days still blur into one another.
Leave a comment and tell me what is new with you...come on...show the Behr some love!!
BEHR HUGS
Thanks to all who commented on my previous post; I appreciate it. A little followup:
My position was eliminated...so really this blog had nothing to do with it. I highly doubt that they knew about it since I rarely if ever accessed it from the work computer. Anything I've said in my blog about my work, job, or company (all former) has been generic without specifics.
As for contacting an attorney...while the separation agreement DID indicate that I should consult an attorney (at my own expense), I did not. I went ahead and signed the document and mailed it back yesterday. There's no way I would ever win in court and I would end up losing more than I could ever hope to gain. Besides...my job elimination was business not personal. I wasn't discriminated against because there are others in my department who are triple threats - over 40, female, and of color. I only fall into two protected classes: over 40 and LGBT. I was low man on the totem pole position-wise. (Yes yes that makes me sound like a big ole bottom. Get yet minds out of the gutter! *grin*)
I had a conversation with one of the Business Partners a few days ago. I told him how disappointed I am with how it was handled - not being able to say goodbye after 18 years, the hush-hush slip me out the door manner, not being able to sufficiently gather my personal belongings, and just the overall feeling that I had done something wrong although I hadn't. He appreciated my feedback and we talked about why it is handled that way. It was a fairly decent conversation.
I've heard from a couple of people who are shocked about it. But I know life for them - and me - goes on. I've filed for unemployment (yes, I'm eligible although I'll be getting severance pay). I've poked around some career sites and started to play with my resume. I haven't told many of my friends. I'm not so sure I am going to. What's the point? I don't want sympathy. And I know that people don't know what to say. However...I know some of my friends have been through this before and they may have good advice.
Today is the first day that I haven't gotten up out of bed right away. I just wasn't feeling it. I think it's catching up to me. This past week has gone by so quickly...I cannot believe it's Thursday already. I'm trying to maintain a positive outlook and keep my sense of humor. Misery loves company - a guy I've chatted with on the bear social networking site and who wants to meet me told me he lost his job last Friday too. It must be an epidemic.
So that's where I am...not much further along but not too far back. Hope everyone is doing well.
BEHR HUGS
I'm not sure where to start with this...but I've had a turn of events in my life. As you may remember, I was taking today off as a vacation day. It was just going to be a fun day, perhaps a trip to Disney, possibly a late afternoon movie with O that would have most assuredly included dinner.
On Friday afternoon I was informed that my position has been eliminated.
To say I was - and still am - in shock is putting it mildly. My immediate boss and a Business Partner Manager (a/k/a employee relations) dropped this bombshell. The BPM talked through the situation and gave me a blue folder filled with information and forms for signing. Evidently I have about 14 days to sign the separation agreement which basically says I won't sue the company. If I sign this agreement then I get a (generous) severance package. But that doesn't eliminate the sting of being let go after 18 years of service.
And speaking of 18 years of service...I want to know why this was all done hush-hush. I wasn't escorted out of the building but I was told that my personal things will be packed up and sent to me. I was basically asked to turn in my badge and keys and to leave. This was a job elimination NOT a firing. I did nothing wrong. So why was I treated so? I'm expected to walk away from 18 years of professional and personal relationships that I formed over the years without saying goodbye? That goes to show that the company knows this isn't right because now they can spin the story however they want without my presence to dispute it. I did send one email to someone I worked with these 18 years. I sent it from my personal email address.
Tomorrow I'm going to ride the train into LA so I can tell my train buddies that I won't be on the train. At least not for a long while.
I've never gone through anything like this before. I'm trying to maintain a positive attitude but I admit I'm still in the "denial" and shock stage. Anger is creeping in and I know will take over soon. I've always wanted to have a steady income but not have to actually work for it but I wanted it to be MY decision.
I've decided to wait a week before looking into revising my resume and beginning the job search. I need time to get my head around this. I can say though without hesitation that I have an awesome family. Friday I called my sister and told her what happened and we went to dinner. She was very good at listening and giving me a bunch of info she printed off the internet as well as a handful of different gift cards...which I thought was sweet but I had to tell her I'm not out of money or destitute! Telling my parents was really difficult because - although it isn't my fault - there's a stigma to losing one's job and a sense of guilt and failure. My parents were both very supportive and - as my sister had reminded me - my father went through this twice during his career. So he totally understands what I'm going through mentally and emotionally.
So I'm going to be around a while. Haha! I do want to do the job search thing although at 51 years of age it scares the bejesus out of me. I also want to concentrate on some other things, like having the time to do serious yard work, housecleaning, and taking care of those little things that have gone undone.
Expect me to revisit these topics over the next few weeks/months. And if I start sounding like a broken record or as if I'm feeling sorry for myself then please comment and tell me to grow a pair!
My future my be uncertain but for now...I'm treating this as a well-deserved vacation.
BEHR HUGS
