Sunday Behr Update

Several things running through my head:

On Tuesday I will be flying to the Bay area for work on Wednesday and Thursday. I am not staying at my usual hotel; that's a plus and a negative. Makes my commute in the morning (from the city to Alameda) a bit longer (including a longer walk to BART) but it's a cool retro motel that is closer to where Bear lives and works. I'm a bit anxious about the return; class is scheduled to end at 5 and my flight is at 5:25. I don't think that's going to happen. So I'm going to try to end class early - REAL early - on Thursday. Hopefully no later than 3. If push comes to shove I'll ask someone to give me a ride to the airport (Oakland). Next week I do the same trip only I fly up on Monday, returning Wednesday. I wish I had built in a little more - stay another night - but I am so cost-conscious that it's not funny. I do plan to see Bear...it's been way too long.

Also on the work front has been some anxiety. My manager left the company and one of our stronger coworkers is out on maternity leave. We have a "temporary" manager who is trying to change things. She means well but she keeps assigning me projects then asks when I'm going to take vacation. I've only taken five days off so far this year. Thankfully, one project that had me stressed is being pushed back, possibly to September. That will give me more time to get the materials created.

I don't know what to think of the Martin-Zimmerman situation. I understand why people are upset but I also know that due process was accomplished. Zimmerman had a trial and was judged by a jury of his peers and they returned their verdict. People may not like that but running through the streets, causing havoc is not a productive way of demonstrating one's dissatisfaction. I'm not convinced that Martin was truly a victim. But all that aside it makes me think that if this nation still cannot get over its racism how the hell is it going to get over its homophobia?

On a personal side, I'm a bit confused. My friend O - for whom I had feelings at one point - has been upset lately that I'm so self-deprecating. He says that he really cares about me and yet my attitude toward myself is hurting our relationship. I didn't know we were IN a relationship. It seems whenever I say something that shows how much I care he gets weirded out. Like the time I accidentally said "Is your boyfriend awesome or what?" He hesitated and blinked and stammered. I didn't tell him about my upcoming trips (I thought I had) and he's wanting to see me before I go because he's going to miss me. WTH? We don't see each other every day and don't even text every day. When we are together he doesn't seem to want to talk seriously about anything. *sigh* Why are boyfriends such a bother?

You may remember a few posts back that I lamented the fact that I am generous to a fault. I finally "blew up" at one of my benefactors. He had asked to borrow a nominal amount and I completely forgot to send it to him. My mistake - I had a lot going on that week. He called me - not only on my cell but my landline too - demanding to know where the money was that I was going to send. It was the wrong moment to cross me. I called him up and told him that I forgot but that I didn't appreciate his attitude. I basically said that I have made my choices in life and they've suited me well and that I work hard for my money. I said that I don't owe him anything and for him to come across like I am beholden to him was not reality. He's made his choices in life and he needs to learn to live with the consequences. He agreed completely and said that he would rather fore go the money than lose my friendship (yeah because I'm always the "Bank of Mark"). I told him it was because we're friends I could be honest with him and talk to him like that. I was so angry my voice was shaking. I sent him the money - he's repaid it too. I was just happy that I finally stood up for myself. Of course my "friend" who I sent $400 hasn't spoken to me since. It just goes to show that some people are only in it for themselves without consideration for others.

For those of you who have a Trader Joe's near you and are into cheese, let me recommend the Trader Joe's Chevre with honey. OMG. It's delicious. I put it in the middle of my omelet and fold the omelet over it. When it heats up and gets gooey it's simply scrumptious!

I cannot believe that my boys (Arizona Diamondbacks) are still number one in the National League West. They've lost their last few games but are still holding on. Now that the All-Star game is over (a complete and utter disaster), it's time for them to literally step up their game and put more distance between them and the stupid Dodgers. After all....it IS the Year of the Snake!

BEHR HUGS