28 February 2011

Behr Pick: Oscar Speeches

I found this Website that has last night's complete winner speeches in print format. They're almost correct (Melissa Leo's F-bomb says EXPLETIVE).

Hope you find it interesting - I did.

BEHR HUGS

Behr Pick: Colin Firth

YES! Colin Firth won the Academy Award for his eloquent performance in The King's Speech.

You may remember that he was nominated last year for A Single Man, for which he should have won the Academy Award, in my humble opinion. I am very happy that he won as I have always thought him a brilliant actor.

Congratulations Colin and BEHR HUGS!



27 February 2011

Behr Pick: The Oscars

Tonight the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences present their annual awards. I'm not going to make any predictions but I will say my fingers are crossed for Colin Firth.

I was invited to an Oscar party by someone I've only met twice; yesterday I accepted but today I had to renege as I have a headache. I'm a little disappointed but I thought it was awfully kind of him to extend the invitation. So anyway it will be a quiet evening at home alone, just me, Winston, and Oscar.

On another note, it seems there's absolutely no manners or civility left in the world. The other night a friend wanted to go out and we decided on dinner and a movie. I had already seen the movie but sat through it again because it is an Oscar-nominated film. I paid for the movie AND dinner. I also drove. I was thanked but the issue I have is that he didn't even reach for his wallet when it came time to pay for either the tickets or the meal. I understand he is unemployed, however in my mindset, that would automatically engage some restraint in going out. Maybe I'm feeling a bit taken advantage of but if I were unemployed I would not ask a friend to go out then not at least offer to pay my share. I'm just sayin'.

BEHR HUGS

25 February 2011

24 February 2011

Behr Pick: Survivor Redemption Island

If you're a fan of Survivor you're undoubtedly watching Survivor: Redemption Island, the 22nd season of this, the granddaddy of all reality shows.

One of the castaways, Ralph, was described by another contestant as having the best man sweater. That's right, he's furry ALL OVER. I'm drooling. On top of that he's kind of a ginger. GRRRR. And he's a good ole boy who owns his own farm, two homes, and is debt free at the age of 44. Unfortunately this walking furball is married to a woman.

There are some other hotties too. A couple are ex-NFL players so you know they're in good shape. And there's the usual assortment of young athletic men. Oh there are a few women too. Whatever.

Like the past season, they are stranded in Nicaragua. It's beautiful...I love the cutaway shots of snakes, tigers, crabs, spiders, monkeys, and other critters. Absolutely gorgeous. A nice place to visit but I'm not sure I'd want to live there for 39 days.

Unless of course Ralph and I are alone.

BEHR HUGS




23 February 2011

Behr Pick: Lawrence

He hails from Texas...ya know, where they grow 'em bigger. *wink* Love me some woofy Latino bear meat.

Can you believe it's already Wednesday? This is totally great. Except that I'll be all screwed up since I have class today and tomorrow and Survivor is on tonight. Speaking of, is anyone watching Survivor: Redemption Island? There's some hot man meat in the way of contestants. There's one mountain man who is just covered with fur front and back. I nearly passed out when I saw him.

Not much to say today as I'm running a tad behind schedule this morning. Have a great Hump Day!

BEHR HUGS

22 February 2011

Lazy Behr Weekend

I didn't do a lot this weekend. I did laundry and watched a lot of DVDs. Yesterday was the first day I felt like doing anything as the head pain finally subsided. As it was, I had to go get litter for Winston; I'd used the last little bit when I changed his box on Sunday. He was a little annoyed at how little litter there was in his box. Wow...how alliterative was that? I went to the market for bread and a few other items; strawberries were on sale. They are really ripe and delicious. I also took a nice nap in the afternoon. In case you're wondering, I had the day off for President's Day. Thanks George and Abe.

Lately I've found myself listening to dance/pop/electronic music...like Robyn's Body Talk, Goldfrapp's Supernature, and Dee Lite's World Clique. What's up with that?

That's about all I have. Not exciting but hopefully you like today's bear. BEHR HUGS

19 February 2011

Behr Saturday

I'm feeling slightly better today. I still have the headache but it's not as severe. Last night I went to the theater to usher then left without seeing the show. I'll catch it another weekend, if possible.

We're enjoying intermittent cloudy skies. It rained all through the night. Because of my headache I'm not doing much beyond laundry and watching movies. I would rather work out in the yard but it's too wet, aside from my headache.

So the other day - Thursday to be exact - when I was in La Jolla, I happened to check out my Yahoo horoscope for that day. Here's what it said:

It's time to end this nonsense -- to mend fences, bury the axe, break bread, etc. Whatever you want to call it, just be sure you do it. A minor dispute has turned major, and it's been going on for long enough, hasn't it? Do the adult thing. Put it to rest, right now. The heavens will be happy to help you out, and if you take the initiative, you'll also be proud of yourself. Now grab that phone and start dialing.

As some of you may recall, S lives in the San Diego area. He immediately came to mind when I read this. I admit that there have been times I have considered extending the olive branch. Make no mistake...I am not fretting about this. In fact, I found it quite humorous that the cosmic forces are urging me to make amends. It's not going to happen. The cosmic forces will just have to wait.

I suspect it's going to be an Elizabethan day...I'm watching The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex (1939) with Bette Davis and Errol Flynn...I'll probably then watch Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth and The Golden Age. I only wish I had Virgin Queen with Bette Davis and Richard Todd.

So that's my day. What's in store for you? BEHR HUGS

18 February 2011

Behr's Quick Update

I'm home safe. Wish it was sound. I'm not feeling well...mostly a headache. It might be a cold. I have to go into work for a meeting and I'm supposed to usher at the theater tonight. So in between I plan to just take it easy and not do a lot. Thankfully it's a long weekend (Monday off for President's Day) and I hope to recoup.

Happy Friday and BEHR HUGS

17 February 2011

Behr Pick: Best Burger Ever

One of the good things about business trips is the opportunity to try new restaurants or dining establishments that are local to the area in which you are visiting. Last night I had dinner at Bare Back Grill. Yeah I thought the same thing. It's tagged as "New Zealand Burgers & Sammies." This was one of THE best dining experiences I've had while on a business trip (barring trips to SF, of course).

What you're seeing in the crappy picture is my dinner, which was far from crappy: Queenstown Fave, described as 100% organic beef, lettuce, tomato, red onion, aioli, BBG sauce and Edam cheese. The fries were shoestring and peppered. WONDERFUL taste in meat and ingredients. I washed it down with Wahoo Wheat, a Belgian wheat beer along the lines of a Hefenweizen. Yes....that is a schooner, approximately 2 pints. I was not the worse for wear afterwards!

There were cute waiters and cuter patrons. Two guys came in and sat at the bar table along the window next to me. Out of kindness I scooted over. Actually it was a ploy to be able to check them out. The one was your typical twink type: short hair, baseball cap on backwards, blondish, and he didn't shut up. He reminded me of Chad Overstreet of Glee because of his lips. His dinner companion, however, was downright woofy, with longish curly dark hair, a beautiful scruff on his face, and arm fur that was just made for running your fingers through. Oh and he had on black rimmed glasses that just made him look smart and sexy. I didn't dare take a picture.

Backtracking to the main part of the day, I only have three in class. Luckily they're fairly smart and made few errors in their first exercise. Nothing to look at in terms of looks, really. One is kind of pompous and he made the most errors. Naturally.

Today I finish the class and head home. It's only been 2 1/2 days but I'm still anxious to be home. I always appreciate home more when I'm away. Although last night's dinner is definitely a place to remember and I just may have to convince a friend to head back down for an overnight stay and schooner beer.

Speaking of schooner beer, it reminded me of a place we used to go when I was in college. We'd head over to Joe Jost's in Long Beach for schooner beer then head back to campus for class. Amazing to think I graduated what with all the beer consumed in those days.

I like beer. I used to be kind of ambivalent about it but in recent years I've discovered how much I enjoy it. More than hard liquor. I pretty much limit my alcohol intake to beer and wine these days.

Enough rambling, I know you're all dying to comment. Ha! Think good thoughts and send some my way as I will undoubtedly be stuck in traffic in the rain for hours.

BEHR HUGS

16 February 2011

Behr Pick: Seaside Resort

I'm back in La Jolla, which is near San Diego. Again, for work. I'm staying at a different place because last week's place didn't have available rooms. I'm further south - much further - but still less than 5 miles from the work location. Or so according to Google maps.

It's not a bad place; I'm within a minute walk of the beach. I missed last night's sunset but hopefully this evening I'll catch it. And I brought my camera this time. Oh and on my walk back from dinner I passed a room of young college age guys with their door standing wide open. It appeared there were four of them. And there were wet suits flung over the railing outside of their room. Yeah I'm thinking what you're thinking you pervs!

I caught RuPaul's Drag Race on Hulu yesterday morning. I may have mentioned here - and definitely elsewhere - that I am rooting for Delta Work. I admit to being slightly disappointed in her runway attire selection. I thought she was good in the challenge as the news anchor. My second choice is Raja. I know many don't like her but I'm amazed at her creativity and how easy she makes it look. Loved her Marie Antoinette-inspired runway couture look. And I like her voice!

Good news: my friend with the relationship trouble says that they've talked and they will be going to couples counseling. I'm happy.

BEHR HUGS

15 February 2011

Behr Pick: Shame

A friend of mine texted me late yesterday afternoon and convinced me to have dinner with him. We went to a nice little Italian place. They had a prix fixe menu which we weren't too ecstatic about but indulged anyway. For a starter we had steamed mussels and clams; then we shared a house salad and bowl of mushroom soup. He had the petite filet mignon and I had lasagna that was doused in alfredo sauce. It was quite scrumptious. We topped it off with tiramisu for dessert. Oh and we had a lovely pinot noir from the Sonoma region of California.

My friend is not totally out of the closet and probably could best be described as bisexual. Still...he's a handsome dinner partner and someone whose company I enjoy. We entered the restaurant and he saw his uncle and aunt. Because we were both wearing dress shirts and ties it was kind of obvious it was a date. He fretted about it a bit.

After dinner we returned to my friend's place and proceeded to imbibe on some interesting ale he had. I only had half a glass because I needed to drive home. We mostly talked and listened to music and engaged in a little kissing. My friend is trying to get me to go away for the weekend and of course I'm rather hesitant about it.

So why shame? Another friend is having relationship problems and I am devastated. I know it's silly to feel guilty that a friend is suffering from heartache and yet I enjoyed my first ever Valentine's dinner. That's right. I've never had a Valentine's Dinner before. Usually I'm out celebrating my father's birthday. But I do feel guilty and shameful. My other friend should have been having the romantic dinner and I should have been home packing for my trip.

I know my friend would be happy to know I went out. And yet...there's a bitter aftertaste for me because of it. Idiotic, I know. But it's how I feel.

BEHR HUGS

14 February 2011

Valentine's Day

For those of you who believe in such things.....

BEHR HUGS

13 February 2011

Sunday Blues

I feel like an idiot. I am an idiot. At yesterday's discussion group I found out by someone who doesn't keep his mouth shut that SD was flirting with everyone at his birthday party a couple weeks ago. Evidently, P and SD were dating; and they've now "broken up" and yet still remain friends and just hang together (as evidenced by their trip to a bear Super Bowl event last Sunday). And Mr. Can't Keep His Mouth Shut thinks P is angry at him for being "touchy-feely" with SD. So for those of you who gave me a dose of reality in your comments - thank you. I will endeavor to learn to listen to you. You were right: what 27 year old in his right mind would want me?

So yesterday I opened the bottle of Violetta thinking I'd drink away the memory of S. Well actually... I tried to open the bottle of Violetta. The cork had dried out and so I ended up having to strain the wine through a tea strainer. The wine had begun to turn and no longer tasted like the heavenly elixir it should so I dumped it down the drain. It was probably for the better but a bit of a disappointment.

Trust me.... the irony was not lost on me.

BEHR HUGS

12 February 2011

Behr Pick: Beef, Wine, and Remembrance

So this past week when I was in La Jolla, which is near San Diego, I thought about a certain someone because he lives there. I thought about how - if I weren't so damned stubborn and sensitive - I maybe could have called and crashed at his place rather than paying for a hotel and thus saving the company more money. I thought about driving by his place just to see if he still has his ridiculous vehicle. He had bought a particular trendy vehicle and it totally looked like a lesbian car. Just sayin'.

I think he's on my mind because this is the weekend anniversary of our break-up. The days and dates match up exactly as they did in 2005. Yeah...it sucks we broke up on February 13. And in Napa of all places. Okay maybe it was technically Sonoma I don't know. But I know that this weekend holds meaning for me. Not necessarily good meaning just meaning. (For the uninitiated, read my three part series Love, Not Love.)

In fact...I've been thinking...always a dangerous activity. For my birthday in 2005 he gave me a bottle of Violetta, which is perhaps the most divine dessert wine to ever cross my lips. It comes from the Grgich Hills winery. I've been saving it for a special occasion...and I'm still waiting. So I'm considering drinking it in remembrance this weekend. Oh relax...it's a 375 ml bottle. And here from the website about when to open a bottle of wine:

The late harvest Violetta, because it is made from grapes rich with botrytis, has a high residual sugar as well as nice acidity and typically is at its best three to five years after the harvest but continues to deepen in color and to develop those wonderful apricot and honey flavors for another 10 or more years.

The bottle I have is a 2000 Late Harvest. So I had best consume it, don't you think? I think so too. Best to get it done and let it be over with.

"To absent friends!" as Frank N. Furter would say.

BEHR HUGS

11 February 2011

Behr Pick: Jim, Home, and Friday

I'm home!

It took me 3 hours to get home yesterday - double the travel time on Tuesday. It is always nice to return home and be back in familiar surroundings. Winston was a brat when I got home but when I woke up this morning he was curled up next me singing his little heart out. I think he senses that I'm going to be leaving again this morning so he's acting aloof. Cats certainly don't like their routines upset.

And now it's Friday. Unfortunately I do have to go into work today because I have a Webinar to conduct. It should be an easy day otherwise. I need to book a hotel for next week since I'll be returning to La Jolla. And I'll start working on my expense report and getting materials for next week's class together. I've got my fingers crossed that the day will go quickly.

I don't have definite plans for the weekend. Laundry and housecleaning is in the mix of course. Other than that I don't have anything exciting lined up. What about you? Come on and leave a comment...show the behr some love!

BEHR HUGS


10 February 2011

Behr Pick: Seb, Sunsets, and Bean Curd

Today is my last day in La Jolla.

Yesterday went fairly well. The temporary training room wasn't set up as I would have liked it but in the long run it worked just fine. I had two good sessions: the morning had four women, one of whom is a laugh riot. The afternoon was a one-on-one with a nice guy. I left "work" about 3:30 and that was after making up emails to send just so I had something to do.

After work I went back to the hotel, which is literally about 5 minutes away although it seems further. I changed out of my work clothes, fired up the Macbook, and watched Tuesday night's episode of Glee. Yes I missed it. Long story. One not worth repeating. Anyway...I watched the Valentine episode (I totally get the fat bottomed girl references on FB now) and had to laugh at Puck. Is it the writers' goal to have him go through every girl on campus? Still I enjoyed it although I read a comment somewhere that basically said it's sad that Kurt is singing backup to Blaine's constant front man status. I personally think Blaine is the male Rachel. Anyway, I digress.

After watching the episode I walked down the street to the beach. I found a bench and sat there and enjoyed the beautiful sunset:











After that I walked to Mandarin House for dinner. I tried something new: kung pao bean curd. I've had kung pao before but never bean curd. It was interesting and quite good. It filled me up a lot quicker than I expected. Of course I had started with two vegetable spring rolls. The steamed rice and tea probably didn't help either. Nonetheless, it was good.

Now if you're thinking "Bean curd?? Ewwww!" I probably would have agreed with you as recently as two or three months ago. However, I've been experimenting with alternative protein choices. I've tried some ready-made tofu products and really enjoyed them. In fact, I really could not tell I was not eating meat. So hence the bean curd. Besides...I'd had a carnitas burrito for lunch!

I spent the evening playing on the computer and reading.

Now today I have the two classes then I'm driving back home. I'm hoping to get on the road before the rush hour traffic starts. Although it's been just a couple of days I'm excited to get home to Winston. And I'll be doing this trip again next week so I'm none too anxious to stay here.

So that's about it for me. What's new in your world?

BEHR HUGS!!

09 February 2011

Behr Pick: Red Jock

I'm in La Jolla today - that's near San Diego. I wish it were for pleasure but it's for work. I'm here today and tomorrow then I drive back the 100 miles tomorrow after noon in the rush hour traffic to be able to go back to Los Angeles on Friday morning.

The place I'm staying at isn't that bad. Oh there are the usual little things like the TV doesn't have a picture and there's no tissue in the bathroom but overall it's comfy and modern. There's a Mexican restaurant across the street; I ate dinner there last night. It was decent nothing outstanding. Tonight I may try the Chinese place.

So that's the latest here. What's new in your world?

BEHR HUGS


08 February 2011

Behr Pick: Daddy Bear

Need someone strong and bearish for today? Imagine laying your head on this daddy bear's chest as he wraps those massive arms around you, making you feel safe, warm, and loved.

Yeah....I'll take me some of that.

BEHR HUGS

07 February 2011

Behr Pick: Shaun

Today's featured hunk is Shaun: part bear, part daddy, all woof.

Congratulations to the Green Bay Packers on their Super Bowl Championship win. I wasn't rooting for one team over the other to be honest. And regarding the Black Eyed Peas' half-time show: WTF?

I really enjoyed last night's episode of Glee. The writers are geniuses with their mash-up choices: Thriller and Heads Will Roll? Brilliant. It would have been nice to see more of Golden Globe winner Chris Colfer (Kurt) but the episode moved the storyline forward, which is what the show needed.

I had a bout with the flu over the weekend. Thankfully I feel much better. Unfortunately I had to pass on a couple of activities including the hike with the discussion group. I spent a lot of the weekend sleeping and resting and trying not to panic about my upcoming business trip.

Hopefully we'll all have a marvelous Monday. BEHR HUGS!





06 February 2011

SuperBowl Sunday 2011

I know today is the day to be all googley-bear about football. Unfortunately I'm still recovering from a 24-hour flu bug so my excitement is at a minimum. Plus I've missed some prime opportunities this weekend to see someone again. I am not happy.

BEHR HUGS

04 February 2011

Behr Pick: Reflection

In reflecting on this past week, it wasn't so bad. That doesn't diminish my happiness to be alive on this Friday morning. Although I would have like to have slept a bit more.

Last night I had dinner with my sister. This was a rare occurrence because we only tolerate each other. Or rather, I tolerate her. But we shared an antipasto salad and a pizza and had a good conversation.

Quick update: I friended SD on the social networking site. It took him all of 10 minutes to accept. With the exception of a comment I placed on a pic of him there's been no interaction.

Enjoy your day. BEHR HUGS

03 February 2011

Behr Pick: Tattoo Thursday

Tattoo Thursday is looking mighty fine.

BEHR HUGS




02 February 2011

A Behr Story

As you may remember, I blogged the other day about part of my Saturday. If you need a refresher, the post was titled Behr Pick: Windows. Here's the part I didn't share.

During the men's group meeting, P blanket invited everyone to his place that night for a birthday party for SD, who was there as part of the group. Because we were a small group, I thought the invitation was extended to everyone because one cannot exclude only a few. P started writing out the address for everyone and at one point he asked me point blank if I would go. I said "Sure" and he wrote out the address. I took it, put it in my wallet and figured it was just a gesture.

When I got home I pulled it out because I was curious about where P lives. I noticed he had written "Thanks!" and a smiley face on the piece of paper. That led me to believe that he wanted me there. So I texted him about what to bring (I took beer and tequila). The party began at 6:30.

I arrived just before 7, not wanting to be the first one there. I wasn't. I was second! I met P's dad and friend and we just chatted as people began to arrive. I moved outside where there was a small fire pit and a heater. As people came to the party, I was introduced to a few people but not everyone. Let me tell you - this was one great-looking crowd of men! There were a few women there too, one being SD's cousin.

P announced the food was ready and I kind of hung back, not wanting to look like the usual pig I am. In the meantime, SD arrived for his birthday party. He made his way outside where he made the rounds. He greeted his cousin and her fiance then stepped over toward me. I stood up and SD opened his arms for a hug.

It wasn't just the hug of two guys who had met for the first time earlier that day. SD really HUGGED me, tightening his arms around me. Of course, being the hug whore I am, I did the same. We probably hugged for a good minute. He pulled back and thanked me for being there, flashed me his cute dimpled smile, and moved to a group of guys.

I was surprised at his reception but chalked it up to his probably being buzzed or high already and just happy there were so many others. I didn't notice him giving anyone else the same treatment but I don't think I thought about it consciously. I eventually got a plate of chicken linguine (P also made shrimp linguine). I went back outside, grabbed a second beer, and settled in to enjoy the food. SD made his way back outside with his food and he sat near his cousin (I had moved to another chair). He eventually made his way over to me and we chatted briefly. He started showing me pictures of something - I forget now what - but he did pass to a picture of him shirtless. He said "That's my torso. That's just my torso." I said "It's a nice torso." He eventually went off to mingle because it was "his party" as he said.

More people arrived and I recognized some from bear social networking sites. None of them introduced themselves. P came outside and sat by me....he has a big afro wig that he was showing off to hilarity and he even put it on me. As the night started wearing on I started retreating into myself, as usual when I'm not part of the group. And I mean by that, I don't know these guys or the memories they are sharing or the others they're speaking of. I eventually tapped P and told him I thought I was going to take off. It was probably going on 11. He said "Ok" and proceeded to stand up and start going into the house. I didn't say goodbye to anyone because I didn't really say hello. I know, rude on my part.

[Damn! This is long! But we're almost to the good part.]

So P and I walk into the house to the kitchen and he pokes SD and says "This one's leaving." SD looked at me with a little sad face. I asked how he was doing, he said he was buzzed, and I told him to enjoy it and happy birthday. All the time he's flashing that dimpled smile. He moved in to hug me...and it was a repeat of our greeting except....longer. He kept tightening his grip on me and I did the same. Someone started fake coughing and we pulled apart. Without breaking eye contact SD said "Non-boyfriend is jealous." I turned toward P who gives me a "What are you doing" look. I returned it with a "What's going on" look. I hugged P and said thanks for inviting me. While this is going on I'm acutely aware that all eyes are on us. While I'm saying something or other to P, I feel SD's fingers on mine and he starts to hold my hand. I turned and we hugged again, not as long, not as intense. So I said "I better go." I started to walk toward the door and SD reached out with one finger and caught my one finger. I heard him say "I'm walking him out." Maybe 10 steps to the door! So I open the door and step out, turn to SD and we hug yet again. I step back and he asks where I'm parked so I tell him just across the street and he comments on my truck. I turned back to him, took a step forward....and we kissed closed mouth. Several times. We pull apart and he says "You're making me hard." I said "You're so f---ing adorable." We kissed one more time and I said "Go back to your party. I hope to see you again." He smiled and stepped back in and I left.

I drove home and kept saying out loud "What the f--k just happened??"

I suppose I should tell you about SD. It was his 27th birthday. He has a mohawk, a goatee, an eyebrow piercing, several tats and he dresses kind of metal-punkish. It totally suits him.

I was so totally caught off guard by his behavior. I have been trying to convince myself that it means nothing, that it was just "a moment" we shared. Several "moments." I know that when we were sitting in that morning's group I looked at him often (I was immediately taken with him, I admit) but I didn't think I made this kind of impression. I even thought his "buzz" may have impaired his judgment.

I admit...it thrilled me while totally baffling me at the same time. I found his FB profile via P's profile but there's little info. It appears he doesn't log on but then I haven't "friended" him so who knows. I've been kind of torn about what to do. I don't want to miss an opportunity but I don't want to assume that he actually likes me. Contrary to his actions, that is. P texted me on Sunday: Hey you! Thanks for coming out last night. :) It meant a lot to S and myself. You are. A great friend. Hope you had a great time. :)

In my ever self-deprecation I assume this was sent to everyone not just me. I did text back: Thank you for inviting me. Hope to see you both again soon. HUGS. He replied Cool.

So there you have it...a cute, adorable guy hugged and kissed me on his birthday. I really don't know what to make of it. Even now, in recapping the experience, I'm dumbfounded. (Sorry, that's the low self esteem talking.) So what do I do? Friend him on FB and see if he accepts? Should I ask P about it? Should I just wait and see? My gay coworker today asked me if I had heard from "my boy" and I said no and I told him about the FB. My coworker said "You're making too much of this."

So....am I? If you've stayed with me through this very long post I would like to know your thoughts, reaction, and more importantly advice. Because this big ole behr has no idea what to think or do.

BEHR HUGS

01 February 2011

Behr Pick: Realization

I'm still a bit baffled about my weekend. I can't quite bring myself to share. It's not that you won't support me or provide me with suggestions and advice...it's more I'm afraid that the harsh reality of putting it down in some sort of medium will make me realize I'm blowing everything out of proportion.

I shared with a gay coworker today. He wasn't much help. I think it's because he doesn't know my past hurts.

The thinking and rationalizing and fretting I've done has made me come to a certain realization:

I think I might be ready to date again.

Frightening, isn't it?

BEHR HUGS